I'm Dreaming of a 'Lite' Christmas...

What?!? Already?

Oct 1 is just around the corner which means the start of the holiday season. Actually, when I owned an ad agency 20 years ago in Kalamazoo, MI, the holiday season started in July for one of my clients a major retail mall. Ugh. And people wondered why after five such seasons I never wanted to put my foot in a mall again.

I remember walking the mall on Thanksgiving weekend to survey the glad tidings of the latest campaign and feeling guilty because I didn't carry the buy,buy,buy gene. Perhaps it was the same backlash I had when working at a Dairy Queen in high school - the last thing I wanted at the end of the day was a cone. Still, isn't there something un-American or selfish if you aren't buying up cartloads of presents?

A shirt-tail relative of mine has it right. She and her husband share six kids ranging from 8 to 24 ish. From the very beginning they lead a frugal, but values driven lifestyle. Simple was better and living well didn't require multiple trips to the store. The lessons they taught the clan throughout the year were the same for son #1 as they were for daughter #6.

They aren't poor, but with six kids they aren't out to waste cash either. All of them know that a pop can is "money for the college fund" and that a brother's or sister's uni-sex T shirt/jeans is good enough for play clothes. I smiled to myself when one son told me that he refuses to wear a brand name and can't understand what the big deal is about Abercrombie and Fitch. Maybe that comes from the fact that TV was pretty much banned as they grew up. They could watch movies together, but sitting around watching the tube and all those commercials wasn't allowed.

What they do instead.

When the holidays roll around, instead of piles of presents, they take the cash and put it towards a big family sking vacation. All eight load into a the family van and drive from Michigan to Colorado. Talk about a memory maker. If you ask anyone to recall their childhood, it's always memories of places and events and things they did with others. Rarely is it about stuff they recieved.

The net effect?

It's amazing, but none of the kids covet stuff. I watched the whole clan walk through Mall of America and not one whining moment of "Mommy can I have...." I guess when they can make it through the biggest spending spree of the the year without giving into it, the rest of the year is easy. By not letting the holidays get the best of them, they get the very best of the holidays - each other. They get something else too, a memory making moment that's light enough to carry with them for a lifetime.

This post for is part of the Green Moms Carnival, hosted by Green Bean Dreams: commercialization of the holidays. 

Comments

[MamaBird/SurelyYouNest]

That is a great model! Love the family ski trip idea. And kudos to those parents for raising such frugal, non-swayed-by-commercialism kids. I don't have the mall gene, either, fwiw! But the fun experience gene? You betcha.

[Beth Terry]

It's great that this family exists as an example that non-materialistic holidays can happen without the kids being scarred for life!

[Mary]

Yes, it is also proof that you can also overcome millions of ad impressions with a little pre-planning.

[Mother Earth]

I absolutely love the trip idea! Might have to apply that concept myself!

[Anna Hackman]

I love this post. Especially the trip part.

You don't how many times I see the whining and complaining from kids in malls begging their parents for "stuff" just because they want it ( and now.) Your post should be a must read for all parents.

It is not the stuff that makes memories, but the adventures along the way.

[Jennifer Taggart, TheSmartMama]

Great post! I haven't yet been able to eliminate the "I want" whining from my kids, but I'm working on it . . .

[Green Bean]

Some great thoughts in here, Mary! You are so right. When I think back on holidays, I remember things we did and not stuff I got.

[Maya]

I love the idea of taking a family trip in lieu of exchanging presents. I'll be mulling this one over with my own family.

[Lynn]

I love this story because it reminds us of my personal mantra, "people over stuff." For our grandchildren's birthdays, we give them a book and make a contribution in their name to a children's charity. Before the age of five, we make the decision for them about the charity. When they are five, we give them three to choose from, trying to match their interests. For instance, our granddaughter is a fanatic about horses so she chose a horse rescue operation. Our grandson loves trains and chose a local railroad restoration non-profit. In this way, the children learn the real meaning of celebration and have gained respect for themselves as well as an appreciation for all they have. In our book, Celebrate Green!, this emphasis on people over things is one of our basic values. Thanks for this post.

[Lynn]

I love this story because it reminds us of my personal mantra, "people over stuff." For our grandchildren's birthdays, we give them a book and make a contribution in their name to a children's charity. Before the age of five, we make the decision for them about the charity. When they are five, we give them three to choose from, trying to match their interests. For instance, our granddaughter is a fanatic about horses so she chose a horse rescue operation. Our grandson loves trains and chose a local railroad restoration non-profit. In this way, the children learn the real meaning of celebration and have gained respect for themselves as well as an appreciation for all they have. In our book, Celebrate Green!, this emphasis on people over things is one of our basic values. Thanks for this post.